So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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