what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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