Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
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