just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
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You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
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Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
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