Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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