I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize