i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
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