you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize