There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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