There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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