I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
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