I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize