My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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