I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
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I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
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Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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