Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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