You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Randomize