I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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