Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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