i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Randomize