Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
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I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
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