just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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