3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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