He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
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We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
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I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
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