my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Randomize