Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Someone shit on the floor
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
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