I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
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