Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Randomize