Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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