I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
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its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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