Girls should come with a carfax report
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize