So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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