Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
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I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
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I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
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