you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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