I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
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I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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