just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize