i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize