I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
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