yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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