So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
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