So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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