he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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