I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
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its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
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I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize