Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
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