whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
operation have a gay friend backfired
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize