I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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