i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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