And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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