When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize