Tap Here to view the Mobile Optimized TFLN
yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Randomize
Follow @tfln