he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
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I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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